Obsessed

I spent most of my weekend sitting and laying around the house which gave me plenty of time to obsessed over different symptoms I am feeling and self diagnosed myself once again. I don't know why I continue to do this to myself when I exactly know that laying around the house isn't the best for me and my anxiety. Yesterday I was obsessing about my heart once again. I was convincing myself again that I have heart desease. I focused on it so much the whole weekend that I actually started to feel symptoms. I know it's all in my head by I couldn't stop myself. Even if I knew how to stop it I just didn't.

I am so inconsistent with my battle. My therapist has given me plenty of tools to cope and I know them but yet I don't practice them consistently. What is my problem? Monday for me is alwayst the beginning. The beginning of my battle against this horendous anxiety. Mondays are always full of promises to myself. That I will eat better, exercise, do my breathing exercises etc...I usually stick to it for the most part of the week but when the weekend comes I fall apart again...Hopefully this week will be different for me. Maybe blogging daily will help me stay on track. I know I can do it. I have gone further from where I was since this whole thing started about 6 months ago but I sitll have a long way to go and I have to learn to accept that it is a lot of work especially if I choose not to be on any medication.

I can do it...the lord is behind me..."he has put his angels in charge of you to watch over you wherever you go"